Communicating with Parents. 

It is truly amazing to consider how much a child grows and develops in the first five years of life. These first few years are critical for development across all domains.

Sometimes, parents or early educators may have concerns, but might be hesitant to discuss these concerns for fear of seeming over reactive or possibly confirming suspicions that development in some area is genuinely delayed.  While it is important to not cause unnecessary alarm, it is better to have open, honest and respectful conversations about any perceived concerns.

All children have unique strengths and needs, and develop at different rates.  Some concerns will resolve themselves.  We know that some children are simply ‘late-talkers’ and others may be shy or slow to adjust to new settings.

However, trying the ‘wait and see’ approach in some instances will mean that months, or possibly even years of valuable intervention time will pass.
 
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What to do:

• Observe carefully. Before deciding to approach a parent with any concerns, be sure that your observations are objective, and consistent over time. Begin to record some notes with specific instances, taking notice of any patterns or improvements which may otherwise have gone unnoticed. Careful record keeping might actually reveal that the concern is time or setting specific and can easily be resolved with some simple changes in the environment. It might also be useful to use a developmental milestones checklist.
• Schedule time to speak. If your notes confirm the concerns, schedule a time to meet with the parents to discuss his/her child’s progress. Some conversations will be easy, others more difficult, but you want to ensure that you have space to speak with the families in private, and sufficient time for genuine discussion.
• Always begin by highlighting strengths. Some parents may enter this meeting very anxious or distressed, especially if they themselves have some concerns. Launching straight into the concerns either because you have little time or just haven’t thought it through will likely not result in a very productive meeting. You are more likely to put the parents at ease and open channels of communication if the family realises that you recognise their child as an individual with both strengths and needs, and are approaching them due to genuine interest in the child.
• Make no assumptions, ask and let the parents speak first. Ask the parents how they feel their child is doing at home. Begin first with open-ended questions, and then you can seek clarification and ask more specific questions as you go along. You may find that these responses end up naturally leading to discussion pertaining to your observed concerns. 

• Be objective and neutral about the concerns. Refer to your notes or specific examples as necessary, just to ensure clear communication with the parents. However, be careful that the conversation does not become a list of example after example of what their child can’t/won’t do, or that it does not appear that you have just been compiling a list of problems. Again, be sure to highlight the positives throughout.
• Remain supportive and solution-focused. Attending to concerns does not necessarily mean a diagnosis of any kind should be forthcoming. As an early childhood provider, you may be able to offer some strategies that can be implemented across settings, with follow-up communications for review. Or you may find that the parents had similar concerns, which have improved greatly with some tips or strategies. You may decide to implement some strategies, monitor carefully, and meet again in a few weeks.
• Stress the importance of attending to any concerns early. Again, there is little risk in you communicating concerns sensitively or in the family seeking further assessment, but the negative impact of not attending to concerns can be substantial.
• Be prepared with information and relevant resources. There could be varied outcomes from the meeting(s); however, being informed and having resources available can significantly reduce the parent’s stress. You may not want to have any literature or resources pulled ahead of time, as you can not anticipate how the meeting will resolve, but it would be useful to have them easily accessible upon completion of the meeting as needed. Some useful parent information and resources are available here. 

What not to do:

1. Do not suggest any diagnosis. Regardless of your experience or level of your concerns, remain objective and rely on the specific observations to communicating your concerns.
2. Do not become defensive. Realise again that parents may find these conversations very difficult and become emotional. Some may insist that the difficulty is with the setting rather than the child. Do not take anything personal. If the parents have reasonable suggestions, offer to try to change things up a bit and meet again in a few weeks. Continue to take any daily diaries to log progress.